New Year's Eve Dilemma..

Back when I was in High School, life revolved around whether you'd be invited to the coolest parties for New Year's Eve and "what the hell am I gonna wear"! dilemma...Pathetic really when you think about it...but at sixteen it was important!

Nowadays, I look at the countdown to New Years Eve with dread and just wish it would fast forward to the first week of January. It's a constant reminder of various issues that include asking one self if they accomplished what they said they would..i.e. Never did end up taking French classes...It's also a moment of rolling ones eyes and saying "Oh My God...not another year!"...and finally..the million dollar question..Where and with whom am I going to celebrate New Years?!

I can't help but be envious of the Senior Citizens who actually still get to go to their social parties and celebrate New Year. I'm not as old as they are yet I'm already dreading it!

The sad part is even if I was to go to some party, I'd probably be considered a Senior Citizen myself! Most of them would be half my age...true that some of them would be mature but once I start talking to a guy, I can't help but feel guilty that he ought be chatting up some younger chick that he can get somewhere with since he's got zero chance with me! Then again, if I did bump into somebody my age at a party, I can't help but think "WHAT A PERVERT!" he's here to pick up naive girls half his age and have his way with them! Ok...Granted that I'm being judgmental...afterall...I'm at the party too...but I can't help but think that it's a different case entirely!

Half way through the party, you'd probably find me standing outside having my cigarette and enjoying my solitude...thinking to myslf "Damn..I could've been home reading a good book or blogging..what the hell am I doing here!"..My friend who happens to be my age but with a lighter attitude would then lecture me on over analyzing..."Just enjoy the party and who cares!" she'd say...I would then snap back and say "You think I enjoy being an OVER ANALYZER...the moment I hear of a workshop that says "How Not To Be An Over analyzer And Just Have a Good Time"...trust me..I'd be the first to enroll!" She'd then go back in and chat up another younger guy who's drooling can be noticed a mile away...!..As I look pathetically at the scene, I wonder to myself, where did my generation go?

When I was in college, Christmas and New Year meant a trip back to Kuwait...and going to reunions to bump into High school friends and catch up on the latest gossip...so the excitement still remained...Now that I'm working...it's either call up all the High school friends and hang out with them or attempt at finding colleagues who share the same background...and how rare is that! The problem with calling up High School friends...I end up seeing the same old faces, who behave the same old way, having the same old mentality and I end up thinking the same old thing..what a bunch of losers...with all due respect to my High school friends!

Sad part is I just don't have the energy. The loud crazy music that I don't connect to...(whatever happened to real dancing music..none of that head banging stuff)..come to think of it..nobody really dances at these parties anymore and much prefer to hang out by "the so called bar".....BORING....hate to sound like a party pooper but back in our days...we didn't have to drink to have a good time...the music and dancing did it for us!

So what's my ideal New Years Eve?

I suppose being picked up by Antonio Banderas but it's not really Antonio...he's a look a like and smells of ba7'oor and dehen 3ood..(yeah baby!)..and as he stands leaning against the white limo...his eyes look up to see me and they tell me that I'm the love of his life...His black tuxedo blends perfectly with my long black sexy dress and as we enter the fancy restaurant..He leads me to the dance floor while Frank Sinatra sings "Fly Me to the Moon"....As he twirls me around...he whispers in my ear..."You look lovely tonight"....Dinner is a full course meal with oysters, crabs and caviar...and under the table my Antonio look a like is playing footsies with me...Just as they announce that midnight is around the corner...he leans over to kiss me and I can hear the bells ringing in the background announcing the New Year...

ok...hold on..need to catch my breath....sorry...

Ah yes...Life as an over analyzer who prefers to live in la la land..is never easy..but that's a different story entirely..in the meantime...What's your ideal New Year's Eve?