Organized Chaos...Need Help!

I'm now entering a time in my life that I'd like to call "Organized Chaos"...it's when you suddenly have been doing something for a few years and decide it's time to QUIT...yes...I have one more week left at my job and then I'm heading to a whole new world....My mobile number will change 'coz I gotta give it back and go back to my original mobile number..(for my blogger friends I'll be forwarding you a message with the new one soon in case you have the old number)....actually it's a good time to go through all the numbers and delete the names that you have no idea who the hell they are! Funny how one gets so into his/her job that your entire identity gets shaken up and you wonder who you are....which in reality is a good thing because we are not our jobs...we actually are our own identity and the job should be just an additional part of our life...NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND...at least that's what I think!

I'm also trying to face my demons by contemplating quitting smoking! Anybody who's anybody that knows me...knows bloody well..that's big of me to mention...but I really do...I can't do it cold Turkey...so if you've used patches, gums or hypnosis or any other amazing cure to get rid of this habit...please do fill me in...the internet has got a million and one way to cure it...and the whole thing got me so overwhelmed that I haven't ordered jack shit for it!

As for my personal life...well...it's a crossroad too....sometimes we single people may bitch and wine about our lives...about how lonely we are...or about wanting to find love and romance...but we hardly ever really look at the real picture of romance...Have you ever seen your parents fight? It aint pretty...Naturally...all couples fight...and the making up is sometimes worth it...but the amount of energy that goes into creating the perfect relationship can be exhausting...we women tend to spend hours analyzing every man's move...to the point we become obsessed...we are at fault..and it's not the man's fault...but the problem is...we can't help it...it sucks...Men want us like them and we want them like us...we both want the other to be perfect! As women it means never discussing the relationship and how it's going...never showing any reluctancy or insecurity...never look slightly worried if the thought "does he still feel the same way about me" ever comes up...and any other form of emotional feelings that makes us woman who we are.....HOW IN HEAVEN'S NAME is that possible??? So yes...we single women might complain...but sometimes the peace and serenity that our brains have when we are single and alone might not be so bad compared to the hell that attached women go through as they go on a journey of two personalities clashing until one day (if ever) they become one! Bottom line...they want us to be practical and we want them to be emotional..and it's in our both genes not to ever happen...UNLESS the man is metrosexual...which sometimes gets us all worried if he's gay...and in the women's case if she's not emotional...she's an Overconfident, feelingless bitch who's so conceited and can't see past her nose that her practicality just means that men who fall for her are into being stepped on...he's into S&M's or something...or let's just say makes him a wimp and who wants a wimp anyway!

So back to Organized Chaos....yes...this is where I stand...full of fear of the future...Hoping for peace and serenity and wondering how older people do it day in and day out...and if you're wondering what IT is...I mean growing up...it just doesn't get any easier...your worries increase...your fears of the future haunt you and you wish you could go back in time when you're just a kid and your parents did all the worrying...meanwhile you're sucking on the Red Loolee ice cream waiting for cartoons to start already!