Journal of A Single Gal In Q8 - Episode Eighteen

From last episode..

"I hope you're not mad at me,I missed you!" he said, quite embarrassed. He struggled searching for something in his carry on. "I got you this," he said finally as he took out a box of Mozart chocolates he must've picked up from Lufthansa airport.

Still in a daze, she took the chocolate box from him and then on impulse pinched him hard.

"Ouch!" she heard him say.

"Sorry, just had to check if it was you, besides, you deserved it!" she teased.

The next two weeks were more like a dream. He'd rented a convertible mustang then bought some CD's of Arabic songs from a local Arabic store run by some Lebanese. They had all the classics like Um Kalthoom, Abdul7aleem and the lot. They'd listen to the icons singing away in the car as they drove down to Las Vegas or down Westwood avenue.

The only time they'd ever argue was when she'd ask about his past. "What is she like?" she'd suddenly ask.

"Who?" he'd turn around and look at her knowing fairly well who she was asking about.

"You know...Her!"

"Do we have to talk about this. We're having fun, why would you want to spoil this," he'd answer hoping that she would cave in.

There were times that she would give up but her curiosity would always get the better of her.

"At least tell me how you met," she said one night over dinner.

"It's very simple. I had graduated from college and had been working for a few years. All my friends around me were getting married and everybody was nagging me that it was time to get married. I felt that it was time too so they told me to go see her because she was suitable and so I did. She had fit my criteria and we got engaged. It was during the engagement that I began to see certain types of behavior that I didn't appreciate but I was too embarrassed to tell anyone and figured maybe she'll change so I went through it. I now know that it was stupid. Later I thought maybe having kids would bring out the best in her but things just kept getting worse so I gave up. There, are you happy? Now my mood is totally off and I feel depressed," he leant back in his chair and began to sulk.

She felt her anger build inside her as she took deep breaths to calm herself down.

"I'm sorry but that's just sick! "She fit your criteria!" What? You were gonna buy a car?" she wasn't going to let him play the victim.

"Look, I know I made a mistake so there's no need to rub it in my face. They'd convinced me that I'd fall in love with her once we got married and I believed them. Now I know that they were wrong and I really wish you'd change the subject," he called the waiter to take their order.

She was about to reply but now that the waiter was standing there, she knew she couldn't. It was killing her to comment.

When they'd finally made the order, she said "Listen, I know that talking about this is bothering you but it's healthy and the sooner you talk openly with me about it, the better. Why is it that we Arabs believe that talking about our problems is a sign of weakness? It's not! If I'm not mistaken, you didn't even have a conversation with your kids telling them this isn't their fault. I suppose you both thought that the kids are too young to understand or that they'll figure it out on their own! I mean that is just so typical. It's sick!" She was on a roll and her words just kept coming out.

He'd obviously hit a core on various issues that she felt very passionately about. First it was the way that he'd gotten married which she'd always felt very strongly against. Second, the fact that he'd realized she wasn't the one during the engagement and went ahead with it anyway. Thirdly, his insisting of wanting to close the subject. If she wasn't so in love with him and had seen his good side, no doubt she would've turned around and told him "Sorry, you're not my type" as she'd done to so many other men that had past her path, particularly those that had been checking her out because their Mommy told them to!

"Listen, please don't try to use your Dr. Phil or Oprah on me. I've been very honest with you and telling you everything that you've been wanting to know. Is there no winning with you? I mean instead of you appreciating the fact that I told you, you've been giving me a hard time. Please don't let me regret telling you," he finished his sentence as the waiter arrived with their food.

She knew it was time to close the subject for now. She wanted to know a lot more but it was obvious he was not going to say anything further after she'd exploded in his face. They fell into silence as they ate their food. Her thoughts wondered off as to how to break the tension between them.

So this is why some couples look so miserable at restaurants, she thought to herself. She'd often watched couples eat in silence and it would kill her to see them not say one word to each other. She would always say to herself, if I'm ever in that situation, I'll never let that happen to me but here they were looking miserable while eating their food. She was determined to change the mood but she just couldn't think of what to say so she began to sulk too as her mind drifted further into her thoughts.

A few minutes had past and she was completely lost in her thoughts when she noticed he'd started on his main meal and was now cutting his steak into small pieces and placing them in her plate.

"Thanks," she mumbled. She wasn't sure if she was still supposed to be mad but then his gesture was sweet and she just didn't feel like being miserable anymore.

"I'm sorry if I snapped at you," he said.

"Thanks," she said.

"Are you going to say anything more besides thanks?" he teased her.

She reached over to his hand and squeezed it "I'm sorry if I gave you a hard time," she said sweetly.

"You shouldn't apologize," he replied. "You have nothing to apologize about. You have every right to know and I don't deserve an apology."

"Ok, fine. Let's not start a fight about who has the right to apologize," she said jokingly.

He smiled as he took her hand and pretended to be reading her palm then finally kissed it. Suddenly he looked up at her and she noticed his far away look.

She looked back at him questionably.

He continued to stare at her for a while longer then finally asked "Do you think your parents would approve of me if I proposed?"

To be continued...