Journal of A Single Gal in Q8 - Episode Ten

From last episode...

"She stepped out of her car and walked slowly towards the entrance of the club. "Slowly, slowly, don't look rushed" she heard herself say.

From a distance, she could see someone standing at the reception and he looked like he was waiting for someone."

The closer she got to the reception desk the faster her heart beat and the louder it got. She kept telling her self to breath but even her thoughts could hardly be heard over the pounding of her heart.

He was leaning on the desk when she saw him slowly turn and finally they made eye contact. She nearly tripped when she saw his eyes. Her heart skipped a beat as she realized that they were baby blue or greenish-blue, maybe even light grey, she couldn't quite tell, all she knew was that they were beautiful.

"Hi" she heard herself say.

He smiled as he turned towards a small table in the corner of the reception area that had a coffee maker, a tea pot and some plastic cups. He gestured towards it as she followed him in a daze. She'd worn her flat boots and as she walked next to him, she realized that he was tall in comparison.

"Tea or Coffee?" he asked.

"Tea" she mumbled even though she wasn't even sure if that's what she wanted!

"Milk and Sugar?" he asked again.

"Yes" she replied. She hardly ever took her tea with milk or sugar. What was the matter with her? It was obvious that making a decision at that moment was too strenuous so she was blurting out whatever came to mind.

She suddenly realized that she'd been standing far too close to his broad shoulders. They may have chatted for over six months cyberly but in reality, he was practically a stranger. She stepped a feet away only to find herself moving closer to him again. It was as though a magnetic field was forcing her to stand closer to him. Finally, she crossed her arms in attempt to physically hold herself from moving any closer to him.

If this isn't chemistry then I don't know what is she thought to herself.

After her terrible experience with her first love, she had tried to feel that "chemistry" but it was never to be found. Her friends would constantly joke about it whenever they heard or saw her talking about a male friend. "Yeah, yeah, we know. No chemistry!" they'd say sarcastically. "So what's it like, this chemistry of yours?" her friend would ask curiously.

"You know when you're on a roller coaster and the deepest drop is just about to happen and then suddenly it's going so fast and you're laughing and crying all at the same time. You've lost all control but you're so happy it doesn't matter. Well, that's what it's kinda like." she'd reply as her friend would listen intently hoping to one day feel that feeling too.

What was it about this person that was making her feel like she was literally flying? Her entire physical being was being shaken to the core and she wondered if the outside world still existed.

Standing now, next to her blue eyed friend, she knew what she was feeling was out of the ordinary. In the distance she could hear him speak and she knew she was going to have to bring herself back to earth soon and hopefully utilize whatever percentage of brain that was left untarnished by this emotional invasion.

"I wasn't expecting you to look like this. I thought for sure that you'd be fat!" he was saying.

"Fat? Why?" she asked in surprise.

"Well, when we chatted, you always sounded cute, funny, smart and.." She interrupted him with a giggle and said "So you have to be a fat person to have those qualities?"

With an apologetic expression he replied "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it to sound like that. It's just that I was so worried. You're attractive and I was taken by surprise and it's making me nervous."

She was about to give him a lecture about being superficial and about being judgmental but then she quickly changed her mind. She did feel that people's appearances shouldn't matter but she realized she'd end up sounding like a typical double standard woman. Afterall, she'd been thinking exactly the same thing when she was driving to see him! She hoped he'd be cute too. At least he was being honest about his feelings, she concluded.

When she'd finally left and was on her way home, she was a bundle of emotions, part of her was on cloud nine with the excitement and part of her was feeling very depressed and worried. Her thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of her mobile.

"So?" asked her sister.

"Oh my God. He's so nice and sweet but I'm depressed!" she said.

"Why?!" asked her sister in alarm.

"I don't know. I'm scared. Do I really want to fall in love again? It's scary" she replied. She didn't want to get hurt again and the thought was petrifying her even though she knew that falling in love was exactly what she wanted!

"You can't go on living in fear like that. It's a risk one has to take. Would you rather not know if he is THE ONE? Besides, whatever's meant to be is meant to be so stop looking at the glass being half empty, look at it as half full. You were hoping that something like this would happen so enjoy the feeling" said her sister passionately.

She knew her sister made sense but she couldn't help but feel worried. It was in her character to always worry about the unknown and she was always amazed when she stood in front of a crossroad in her life. How by taking one step to one particular path she would end up somewhere and how if she took a completely other path, she'd end up somewhere else entirely! She supposed that was the test that life was all about but she always wished if she could know the end result. Life would've been so much simpler! Given it would take away the excitement of the unknown but still, it would've been safer. Here she was at a crossroad. She could take the path that would lead her to love with the possibility of getting hurt or finding THE ONE or the other path of safety but lonely. The latter was definitely sounding less attractive.

Before she met him, she felt her life had been so redundant. Now that things had changed, she was happy that this turn of events was making her life a lot more exciting. She became quite aware of the difference when she'd walked into work the next week and found that the irritating people that used to bug her at the office didn't seem to bother her at all. It was like she was suddenly immuned to them and she loved it.

In fact, a few months back, she'd been so bugged at work that she'd submitted a proposal to go on a long term training at the office's headquarters in London to "enhance my skills" as she put it. She hoped a change of scene and getting away from all the weird people at the office would help her get rid of the feeling of redundancy in her life.

Her thoughts were interrupted as her boss walked into her office with a big smile on his face.

"So what are you going to give me when I give you the good news?" he asked with a smirk on his face. Her boss was a chubby short old man who looked exactly like a Bedouin Santa Claus. He treated her like his daughter and always loved to tease her.

"Bu Youssef, today's news is for money, tomorrow it's for free" she teased back.

"Ok, I'll tell you but I expect sweets from you tomorrow. Upper Management have approved your proposal and you're off to London in two weeks!

Her mouth dropped and she was lost for words.

How ironic were her last thoughts.

To be continued...