Journal of A Single Gal In Q8 - Episode Fifteen

From last episode...

"There's something about me that you need to know and I hope you'll be understanding about it" he explained.

She held her breath, looked into his big blue eyes and waited.

It was a long pause as she wondered in anticipation what he was about to tell her. The worst case scenarios were jumping into her mind. She made a quick summary in her head for any clues. She knew that she'd been just so happy to have found chemistry with someone after having waited for so long. Her last experience had been so tough on her that she had felt sure that this time it was going to be different. The universe owed her, afterall she deserved it! Hadn't she gone through enough rough patches to have this.

He had been staring at her trying to read her mind as she looked up and took a deep breath "Tell me," she said.

He reached for his wallet and opened. It didn't take long for her to notice the pictures of two kids. Her heart skipped a beat.

"Oh God, do I really want to know?" she asked herself.

He was taking out a blue piece of paper when she finally grabbed the wallet and looked at the pictures. The resemblance was obvious.

"Yours?" her voice was so low, she could hardly hear herself speak. Her heart was pounding, her mouth had gone dry and she felt nauseated.

"Wait. I need to explain," he answered.

Fathoming the whole thing was taking a toll on her and she was wondering when was she actually going to react. Her legs were shaking. She desperately needed to get rid of this numb feeling.

"I think it's pretty clear" she said and held on to the table as she stood up afraid to lose her balance.

"Where are you going?" he asked her looking surprised.

"I don't want to hear it. I have to go. Goodbye," she answered finally as she looked ahead of her, afraid that he'd see the tears building in her eyes.

He sat frozen, looking at her as she turned to leave.

"But you need to hear what I have to say" she heard him say as she quickly walked away.

She walked the path of the Salhiya Complex wishing that she wouldn't bump into anyone she knew. The last thing she needed was to bump into anyone!

Being stared at was just part of living in Kuwait but she couldn't help but feel that people stared at her more as though they knew what had just happened. She wanted to scream "leave me alone" but they continued to eye her as she struggled to get to her car.

When she finally reached the underground parking lot, she burst into tears. How could he do that to her? She knew she had no energy to drive and decided to sit in her car on the hopes that no one would notice her.

How could she have missed the clues? Did he not love her at all? What was happening? She just couldn't understand. Why would he do that to her?

She didn't know whether she was crying because he hadn't told her or because she found out that he was already taken.

Just then, there was a knock at her window. A man in his thirties, wearing a white dishdasha, medium built with dark features stood there waiting. She reluctantly opened the window and said "Yes?" without looking at him.

"Are you getting out or what?" he yelled. She noticed that his car was behind her and apparently he was waiting for her to leave so he can take her spot.

There was no choice for her but to look up and say "I'm sorry," and started her engine.

No sooner had she looked up when she noticed the look of horror on his face.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Are you ok?" he asked.

She managed a smile to show her gratitude for his sudden concern and then slowly began to reverse.

"Wait. I'm really sorry, please don't cry," he called out.

In her rear view mirror, she could still see the look of guilt and surprise on his face. It somehow made her feel better. Here he was ready to fight with her and now he was feeling sorry for her. "So shines a good deed in a weary world" she thought to herself. Funny how anger in men is so easily deflated with a women's tears.

The distraction had given her mind a break and her body was slowly returning to normal. True, her mouth still felt dry and there was a heavy feeling on her heart but at least her breathing had gone back to normal.

She searched frantically through her CD's to find a song to match how she felt. This calls for a Abdulhaleem Hafeth song, she thought sarcastically as she waited for the CD to load to the words of Maw3ood. The roads were a blur to her but it didn't matter, she just kept on driving.

Lost in her thoughts, the phone rang and she jumped. She looked at the number and smiled bitterly. She remembered how excited she would get when she'd see his name on her mobile. The mere VIP ringtone she gave him was a sure way to get butterflies in her stomach. Now she felt sick.

After the fourth ring, she finally picked it up giving herself permission to let it all out and give him a peace of her mind.

"Why did you leave like that before I could explain? I wanted to show you something so you would understand. I asked you to be understanding." He sounded irritated.

"You listen to me. You stay away from me. Pretend that you don't even know me" her energy was coming back to her but her heart began to race as she yelled the words from the top of her lungs.

"I can't pretend that I don't even know you. I love you and I want to marry you," he blurted.

"WHAT?" she screamed. Why was he saying that? She suddenly felt confused. What was he trying to say?

The last time she'd heard that was from a guy who she'd caught with another girl.

She was losing her nerves.

"That's sick!" she yelled. "Why do you men resort to that? What? I'm supposed to be grateful now? I'm supposed to be jumping up and down and saying "HORRAY. He wants to marry me?" Is that what you think? That all us women care about is to get married regardless of how screwed up you men are?" She took a another breath and imitated a man's voice "Honey, I know I'm an asshole but let's get married anyway?"" she said sarcastically.

"I think you need to calm down," he said. "You still haven't heard my explanation and you're already calling me an asshole. Could you please just listen?"

She closed her eyes for a second and then took a deep breath. All that screaming had taken the last drop of her energy.

"Fine! I'm listening. Bring it on!" she said.

To be continued...