The Winners Are... Kuwait Academy Blogger Awards

Let's set the scene first...

It's night time at the magnificent ballroom in a five star hotel in Kuwait. The lights are dim and the room is chilled. Ushers are leading bloggers to their rounded tables. Everybody is dressed up for the occasion. Some rush to grab a table to sit with their buddies. The crowd is getting impatient, waiting for the show to begin.

Suddenly the spotlight lights up the stage and in walks MissCosmo wearing a red dress (equivalent to Julia Roberts dress in Pretty Women) as she makes her way to the podium.

"Ladies and Gentlemen" says MissCosmo "Welcome to tonight's results of the Kuwait Academy Blogger Awards!" (the audience roars)."The Executive Committee of the Kuwait Bloggers Awards would like to thank you for your votes and wonderful support. We've received so many great ideas and suggestions that we truly appreciate. Without your support this night would not have been possible! We begin our show tonight with the winners of the first category. To announce the first category, please welcome with me, winner of the best foreign Blog Award in the Saudi Bloggers, NuNu!"

The crowd claps and settles down as NuNu walks in wearing a long white dress (equivalent to Marilyn Monroe's dress in Some like It Hot). Her shiny red hair clearly making a beautiful contrast.

She giggles her way to the podium. "Thank you MissCosmo. It's such a honor to be here. I was so happy to win the best Foreign Award but I must say, it would've meant so much more to me if it was from my own home town. It's sad not to be as popular as you are in a Foreign country.." MissCosmo who is standing next to her, nudges her to get on with it and not turn it into a negative moment. NuNu regains her composure and continues "The winner of the Funniest blog award is" she opens the envelope and giggles "the winner is Bo Maryoum!"

The audience claps and laughs, turning to look for the Funniest blogger who is walking up to the stage to give a speech.

"Thank you so much" says Bo Maryoum as he cracks a joke on his way back to his seat.

MissCosmo continues "Congratulations, Bo Maryoum, I'll definitely be visiting your site from now on! And now to announce the next category of Sexiest Female Blogger, please welcome with me the advisor of the Executive committee, the infamous Purgatory!"

The crowd cheers, claps and some boos can be heard in the distance.

MissCosmo turns to the backstage waiting for Purg to come up to the podium. (He better show up thinks MissCosmo to herself!) After a long pause, Purg walks in wearing a black tuxedo and a "what's the big deal" attitude.

Purg begins "And the winner of the Sexiest Female Blog is..." MissCosmo interrupts "Aren't you going to say a few words first?" giving him a look of horror.

Purg calmly replies "No"

"Why?" asks MissCosmo clearly agitated.

"Because I'm Purg," satisfied to see the agitation in MissCosmo's face, he continues.

"The winner of the Sexiest Female Blog is" Purg opens the envelope and smirks "Jelly Belly!

The men in the audience roar and clap. The crowd is obviously very excited to see the Sexiest Female blogger.

Jelly Belly struts her stuff as she walks up to the microphone and says in a husky voice "Hello boys!" The men in the audience are clearly enjoying this as they roar and whistle.

"I just want to say thank you for all those that voted for me. I'm so touched. " she finishes her sentence with a wink as she struts off stage.

"We're happy to hear that Jelly Belly, ya sexy thang!" says MissCosmo.

"Congratulations!" And now ladies, brace yourselves, we're about to announce the winner of the Sexiest Male blogger!"

MissCosmo nervously opens the envelope hoping to finally meet the Sexiest Male blogger. Her heart is pounding as she looks at the envelope, takes a deep breath and says "Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome with me the Sexiest Male blogger, the one and only, the greatest mystery, The Don!

The women in the audience can't help themselves as they stand up to feast their eyes on the Sexiest Male Blogger.

MissCosmo looks around searching. The spotlight is on the the audience trying to find him but he is no where to be found. Disappointed beyond words, MissCosmo says "Unfortunately, looks like The Don is not with us here tonight but we send him our warmest congratulations."

"For our next category, Most Bizzare Blog, please welcome with me our Executive Board Member, the wonderful and best buddy The Stallion!"

The audience cheers and claps. One particular table begins to whistle and shout, obviously friends of the Stallion!

The Stallion walks up to the podium, dressed to kill. He then looks at the crowd and says "WHAtEVER!". The crowd cheers and screams.

"Thank you," says The Stallion as he begins "It's amazing to see so many bloggers all in one room! I never thought this could ever happen, what with all the drama I saw on my blog! This is great. Anyways, can I have the envelope please," MissCosmo passes him the envelope and he opens it. "Oh my God, the winner of the Most Bizzarre Blog is what do you know, Purgatory!"

Purgatory is obviously very pleased with himself and is not the least bit surprised as he walks up to the microphone and says "Everybody clap or I send you all to the Guillotine!" The crowd roars with laughter and claps as Purgatory proudly steps off the stage.

"For our next category, the best Joint Blog, the winners are" MissCosmo opens the envelope and smiles, "the wonderful, informative, interesting and knowledgeable Misguided & Ms. Baker".

Both Misguided and Ms. Baker known for their maturity and grace step up to the podium, giving their thanks for the award and to the Committee.

"Congratulations to you both and now ladies and gentlemen, before announcing the rest of the categories, we will take a fifteen minute break," announces MissCosmo.

The audience relaxes as they discuss the night so far.

"I better win in one of the categories," says one blogger to the person next to them.

"Don't worry, you will. You're the best," they answer back.

"Oh, thank you. You are too sweet. I love you."

"I love you too. Group hug."

Another blogger hears their conversation and rolls his eyes!

The recess is over and MissCosmo appears "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome back. To announce our next category The Most Romantic Blog please welcome back NuNu!" MissCosmo turns to search for NuNu but she is backstage arguing with Purgatory about the night so far. MissCosmo is about to call her name when NuNu realizes it's her turn. She swiftly walks to the microphone and says "And the winner of the Most Romantic Blog is" she opens the envelope and excitingly says Jewaira"!

The audience is clearly excited to see Jewaira as they stand up to give the winner a standing ovation. Jewaira walks elegantly towards the stage, wearing an exquisite black strapless dress with diamond accesories.

In her soft voice she utters the words "Thank you" as the audience melts. The men are drooling and the women are looking on, some in admiration and some in envy.

Purg turns to MissCosmo and says "Come on, announce the next category." MissCosmo clearly enjoying the moment turns to NuNu and asks "What do you think?" NuNu replies, "No, wait. This is so romantic." To that, Purg replies "NuNu, be quite and announce the next category!" Stallion walks in on the conversation and asks "So what's next?"

Finally, all four are standing by the podium and MissCosmo says "Congratulations to the beautiful Jewaira. We have now come to our final two categories, the King and Queen of Blogosphere."

Behind her Purg and NuNu are arguing again. "I really don't see why we have to have a King of Blogosphere category," says Purg.

"If we have a Queen we should have a King," says NuNu.

"No, we don't" says Purg.

"Yes, we do" says NuNu.

"No, we don't"

"Yes, we do"

MissCosmo ignores them both and continues "and the winner of the King of Blogosphere category is Zaydoun!

Zaydoun walks up to the podium and says "And here I was thinking that I'm a failed writer! Thank you for your nominations."

"Congratulations to Zaydoun! We definitely know that you are no failed writer Zaydoun! Last but least, to announce our final category Queen of Blogoshere, please welcome again our very own Stallion. The Stallion takes the envelope and slowly opens it "The winner of the Queen of Blogosphere is Shurouq!

Shurouq stands up and smiles, thinking to herself "what a perfect belated birthday gift" She walks up to the podium and thanks everyone for their nominations.

"Congratulations Shurouq and don't ever leave the Blogosphere. You are truly loved!" says MissCosmo.

"With that, Ladies and Gentlemen, we have come to the end of our night. We hope you enjoyed sharing these moments with us and congratulations to all the winners. Thank you for keeping us entertained through your blogs and we look forward to reading more! You have been a wonderful audience and good luck to next year's Executive Committee. We hope we've been able to start something that would continue on for years to come. For now, enjoy the after night party with drinks and food for everyone!"

MissCosmo exits stage and rushes to the backdoor. NuNu and Purg are still arguing. Stallion has run off to see his friends and the audience is making its way to the buffet.

"I'm sorry you didn't win!" says one blogger to another.

"Are you kidding? I never took it seriously. I was just kidding." replies another blogger.

"But you know that you're the best, sweetie"

"Oh, thanks, you're so sweet. I love you."

"I love you too"

In the distance the same blogger is overlistening, rolls his eyes again and thinks to himself....BLOGGERS!

The night is warm as she stands outside on the sidewalk behind the hotel, frantically looking for a lighter.

She hears the sound of an engine roar. What a powerful sound she thinks to herself as she notices him.

"You missed the party" she says.

"Did I win?" he asks.

"Wouldn't you like to know!" she teases.

"Would you like a ride MissCosmo?"

"Thought you'd never ask!" she replies.

She hops on his bike and hangs on tight as she rides away in the distance with the Academy Award Winner of the Sexiest Male Blogger...naturally!