Reflections of A Princess

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Camp Jail??

In a city like Kuwait where a vicious work world is out there with expatriates and locals fighting for the perfect job, it's easy to get lost in the rat race and forget what life is all about. Parents are shopping for back to school stuff for kids, businessmen are getting their businesses back on track after the summer and young people are looking for the fall trends. Life seems so simple yet is it?

Deep in the heart of the Kuwaiti desert lies a world unknown to the average person. A world that looks like a scene from "The Day After". A depressing world. Thousands and thousands of tents lay erect on the desert sand with portable bathrooms around the corner. Kansas Avenue or New Mexico Avenue. No, this is not Spring camp. This is a camp that looks like hell itself and nicknamed Camp jail. You can check in but you can't check out, at least for most.

Yes, thank God for civilization. Thanks for the roof on my head, the bed I sleep on and would you believe, thanks for the bathroom that's not portable but most of all, thanks for the freedom of going wherever I want, whenever I please!

No matter the cause, no matter the price, I couldn't do it. Could you? And if so, how much would they have to pay you for you to check in but not check out? Actually, to put it more bluntly, how much do you think your life is worth?

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Waleed Bin Talal Or Machboos??

"You deserve a Waleed Bin Talal," this was said to me by a relative of mine after a hot argument about something or another....Flabbergasted, I asked "What do you mean?" it sounded sweet at first but I wasn't sure if it was meant to be a compliment.

"Well, you're daloo3a...you like being pampered...you do massages, manicures, pedicures and facials...you're more likely want to quit your job and let your husband spoil you. You're also sexy and deserve a Waleed Bin Talal...etc."

It was mixture of being extremely insulted but complimented all at the same time. Part of me felt that she made me sound so pathetic and the other part felt touched that she thought I deserved a millionaire. Needless to say, I was confused!

Then I got to thinking about rich men. Yes, if I saw a beautiful sports car, I do get a physical reaction and think "Oh my God, it's beautiful!" You'd think I saw a good looking man! Naturally, I never ever look inside to check the guy out. For starters, they're usually not good looking (sorry if I'm generalizing but usually they're not, I swear!)...Second, if he was good looking, I wouldn't want to have anything to do with him because RICH MEN SCARE ME!

Maybe it's my preconceived ideas of rich men. All those millions, beautiful models, sports cars and jets all at his feet...Everybody at his beck and call and he snaps his fingers and all the ladies run to him...it's just too much for little ol' me to put up with. I just couldn't do it. I know a man's temptation that comes with being so rich. Why would they stick to one chick. True, not all men are alike but hey, if he was traveling for business and met up with Angelina Jolley, would you blame him if he had a fling? I know it's crazy for me to admit it but it's true...unless he happens to be very religious, I doubt he'll be able to resist and who would blame him.

As for religious millionaires, well, I'd have to sit and really ask "how" religious is he. If his millions are going to go to bad charity, I definitely wouldn't want to have anything to do with him, thank you very much! Besides, how many religious millionairs are there out there?!

My encounter with rich men started when I was very young. I remember having a buddy who was so rich and was constantly being fought over by the girls in school. Sadly, he was also very lonely. He just couldn't tell who really liked him and who was just using him because he was rich. Later, we kinda stopped being friends because his paranoia got on my nerves and I was just too insulted by his constant fear that I was using him for something.

In the end, I suppose we all have dreams to live the life of the rich and famous or the "Waleed Bin Talal" life...but in reality,...I'm not sure that's a dream I would want to pursue...maybe I'm crazy but a diamond ring or a fur coat after his business trip in Paris would only make me more miserable 'coz I'll know he was up to something..Call me silly but a simple guy who can't afford his own private jet but can afford ordering machboos from Bin 3ateej while we watch TV at home, definitely sounds much more appealing.......yes..I do believe other girls wouldn't give a shit what he was up to and would just be happy with the fur coat and the diamond ring..but when it comes to me..the "daloo3a" as she called me..I'd take the home delivered machboos from Hawally any time, any day baby...so pass me the dakoos please..

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

El Baraka Bil E7jab....


When I bumped into my mit7ajba twenty four year old distant relative at N Bar the other day, there was something about her that looked different. True, she looked cuter than I'd ever seen her but I just couldn't pin it down. Teasing her, I said "Shlonich ya Su3ad 7ussnee?" Her face reminded me of her for some reason.

She giggled and said "You can't tell what it is, can you?"

I realized suddenly that she must've done something to her face and so I starred intensely to figure it out.

Getting bored at me starring, she finally blurted out "I GOT DIMPLES!"

My mouth dropped.

Yes, there they were, two holes in her cheeks! I, dumbfounded, screamed "Eshlon?"

"I was feeling depressed and wanted a change. All my friends have been doing the same thing and so I did it! I went to this famous Egyptian Doctor at Taiba Clinic and it took exactly five minutes for each check!"

Shaking my head at her being crazy, I teased "Oh, so this is the latest trend in Kuwait that you girls have been up to!"

She looked at me like I was from out of space and said "You mean you've never heard about it?"

"La habeebti, I had no idea!" I replied feeling rather exhausted while I remembered my entire busy week at work and how different it must've been compared to this newly dimpled girl.

With a sudden serious look on her face she said "Bass Tikfain MissCosmo, mo etgoleen hag a7ad, tara 7'alee ma yadree o low dira be kafi7'nee!"

"En zein shlon ma dira, ma shafich?" I asked, wondering how the entire family couldn't see that there was something different about her.

"La, el baraka bel e7jab," she replied as she showed me how she can cover the dimples by her laffa.

After she was gone, her answer kept ringing in my head. "El baraka bil e7jab?..El baraka bil e7jab...el baraka bil e7jab"

There was just something very ironic about that sentence when it came to fake dimples and e7jab....

"El baraka bil e7jab..."...weird...when you think about it...isn't it..

Monday, August 14, 2006

Legalized Perversion!

Last night I went out for dinner with a girlfriend of mine who wanted to introduce me to two of her acquaintances...as the two ladies walked in..I suddenly felt very under dressed..they had all that perfect make up..the perfect hairdo..all dressed up in perfection...I'd just finished yoga, had a quick shower and had slipped on my jeans and my hair was still dripping wet...Anyone watching us would've thought what a strange combination these ladies made...the two of us looking like a mess and the two others..straight out of a magazine....

There was something about these girls that made me presume that they were older than us...but it didn't take long to find out that it was absolutely not true..as usual..when it came to women talk the conversation had turned into the subject of marriage..

I asked the beautiful girl in front of me if she was married...she giggled..and said "Yes, actually, I got married when I was fourteen."

Yep..that's right...that is one four...14!!! I dropped my chopped sticks and looked at her with my eyes wide open...and then went into my Oprah Winfrey routine:

Me: Really?!! So how old was your husband?

Her: It was ten years ago, so he must've been 37 at the time...

A quick calculation meant that the girl sitting infront of me was 24 and her husband was now 47

Me: Forgive me for asking such a personal question...when I don't even know you but what was it like on the first night?

Her: (giggling) We didn't do it the first night...I was only fourteen and didn't know anything so he would sit with me and tell me things..

Me: What kind of things?

Her: Well..you know..

Me: No...I don't know..give me an example

Her: He would tell me that things happen between a husband and a wife and then he would put his hand on my lap...then the next day he would explain more and then kiss me slowly...then the next day he would touch me somewhere else...it took a whole week until I was comfortable enough and then we did it..

Me: How did you feel?

Her: At first I was scared 'coz I didn't understand what he was talking about..but then after one week...I was ready....

Me: Do you have children?

Her: Yes, I have two, a boy and a girl

Me: When your girl is 14, would you marry her off?

Her (in horror): NO WAY! She needs to enjoy life...

Suddenly, her friend interrupts and says "It's funny...you should see us when we are shopping...whenever we see a good looking guy...we go crazy...we missed out on a lot of things in life"...

That's when it dawned on me that her friend had married young too...and it seemed to be perfectly normal...was I living in a bubble unaware that people still did this...yes...my grandmother got married at the same age...but that was many..many years ago....yes...it used to happen centuries ago...but now??

It was sad to see a 24 year old girl act so much older...my friend and I were twice their age...yet we both treated them as older women...was it because they were married, it instantly made them "older"?...They just seemed too young by age years to feel, look and act older...how unfair was that...

My mind then wandered off to the 37 year old man that had married a 14 year old....I couldn't help but imagine him a pervert..or for a better word...a molester...

Last night I dreamt of the whole scene...the hairy 37 year old man with his big belly standing naked in front of the beautiful 14 year old girl..as she shivers from fear with her eyes wide open....the hairy big man pointing at his tool and saying "touch this"....she holds it and pretends it's a toy...

Am I sick to have dreamt that...maybe....but I couldn't help it...it made me feel soo angry...when innocence is robbed from a 14 year old girl...this is not marriage...it's just legalized perversion for free! Ugh!

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Inside MissCosmo's Mind...

(1) Thank you God for making sure that when I was passing through London..this "real deal" terrorist plot was not in the works...it was only a month ago that I was waiting for my flight at heathrow airport...(thank you..thank you...thank you)

(2) When you're out with friends for dinner and everyone is supposed to be pitching in to pay the bill...how is it possible that there is a KD60 still missing???

(3) If all self development books on relationships tell you that the best way to land a man is to avoid being emotional...how in heavens name is she supposed to be herself when she's born a woman of emotions???

(4) According to the horoscopes, it's a year of surprises (whether in your personal life or in the world at large i.e. Lebanon crisis)...so "be prepared" they say..but if it's supposed to be a surprise...how does one prepare for it?

(5)Back to relationships ('coz I'm a woman..and that's what we strive on) why is it that woman can talk about any subject with their friends but it never gets really interesting or exciting as it does when the subject is about men?

(6) Speaking of relationships...(again!) if a woman's relationship with a man is based on her self esteem...i.e. the higher her self esteem..the more successful the relationship...how is she supposed to have high self esteem if he's being distant or withdrawn?? (no promotion or any other form of success ever highers a woman's self esteem as when it comes to the man in her life..and any other woman who tells you otherwise is either a lesbian or fooling herself!) It's a vicious circle and I'm hating it in case you can't tell..:)

(7) I'm reading the book "Thinking Like A Billionaire" by Donald Trump...(had to step away from the relationship books to stop the frustrations!)..according to him...the art of becoming one...includes never taking a vacation, having a short attention span and not sleeping more than you have to (he never sleeps more than 4 hours a night!)...I'm happy to report that the only one that I can accomplish out of those three is the short attention span...I have that natural ability! (you can forget the vacation part or the sleeping..thank you very much...besides...I'll be happy with being a millionaire...who needs the billion!)

(8) Ramadan is about 6 weeks away....!!!!...Panic...panic....where did the year go? I still didn't get over last year's episodes of misery and disaster....(7oor el 3ain, Nezar Qabani, 3adeel el roo7)....will I really pull it through this time and not watch the episodes that cause depression and near suicide feelings??? Can I do it? ahh...the challenge of it all!

(9) More importantly....with the whole world going hay wire...is World War III around the corner?? Is it true that it's better if we have World War III because "look at Europe...it had to go through one to make it the way it is now"...Would the Middle East need to go through a World War to settle?? If so and God forbid...would it cause us all to split based on our math'habs..shi3as versus sunnas....you know..I'd much rather not be around for that...way too ugly if you ask me!

(10) MissCosmo takes a deep breath, closes her eyes and asks herself...why can't you just stop worrying and start living!

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Handsome Up?????


As seen in Kuwait's classifieds in Al-Hadaf...and I thought I'd seen everything! Min sijhum??...Handsome Up 3aad!!!

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Journal of A Single Gal In Q8 - Episode 19

From last episode..

He continued to stare at her for a while longer then finally asked "Do you think your parents would approve of me if I proposed?"

It had taken her a few days for her to actually absorb his question then she did the first thing that came to mind. She called her married best friend to ask for advise.

She had always had a very deep relationship with Hala even though they'd met under the strangest circumstances. They had both been refugees in a strange country when they'd both escaped from Kuwait due to the invasion.

Their mothers met at a "Free Kuwait" gathering held in Dubai and they both insisted that the two girls should keep each other company. At first, Hala appeared to be nothing close to her type. She thought her a T.K. (a secret code she and her friends used as a term for girls that they couldn't connect with mentally). Hala's bob haircut, big lashes and full lips had given her the impression that she would be more into Louis Vuitton bags than about writing political poetry to expressive anger on the current circumstances. It was far from the truth! Hala turned out to be the most modest and caring friend that crossed her path and so began an amazing friendship that only became stronger everyday.

Life had not been easy for Hala. She came from a family that still lived in the old fashioned mentality of "who's who" in the world. They were what they called themselves "a9eeleen" a term translated into being "original" or "pure". Such families took pride in being originally from Saudi Arabia, Najd in particular. In her own mind she had translated it as being blue blood. If the common term of WASP in the States was translated into Wealthy Anglo-Saxon Protestant then WAMS stood for Wealthy A9eel Moslem Sunni and in both cases it meant that doors would open for them wherever they went. If you had blue blood you made it in the world because all blue bloods would stand with you. Marrying blue blood meant a step into the fancy world of high society. The money always stayed within the blue blood community and that was the way it had always been and how they expected it to remain.

When Hala had confided to her that she was in love with a Bedouin boy during those endless hours of waiting and watching CNN during the invasion, she was happy for her. Being in love under such circumstances gave the heart something else to concentrate on and eased some of the pain. Little did she know that her friend was playing a part in what was to lead to the worst experience in her life.

When the years past and they'd returned to Kuwait, Hala had called her one evening and told her that Mohammed, her Bedouin boyfriend had proposed. Although she was thrilled for her, she could tell that Hala sounded worried.

"What's the matter?" she asked her.

"My parents are refusing to see him because he's a Bedouin!" she replied breaking down into tears.

As she tried to comfort her, she had no idea that the worse was yet to come. It took a week for her to beg and plead with her parents but her eldest brothers wouldn't budge! It was too embarrassing for their blue blood to have a Bedouin brother-in-law. Actually, it was unthinkable!

Her mother whose words held importance within the household finally told them that her daughter's happiness was at stake so she asked the father to call them and let them know that they'd accepted.

Unfortunately, when it came to Bedouins, pride stood before anything else. Mohammed's father told them that they were insulted for having waited so long to give their reply and so they were no longer interested in the girl!

Mohammed told Hala that his father was a very stubborn man but that if they ran away and got married, soon everybody would accept it. Hala wouldn't have anything to do with it.

"I can't do that to my mother. Not after how hard she helped me. I'm sorry, it's over," she told him as she cried all her tears mourning his loss.

Hala's dismay to the failure of her love life became worse when her brothers told her that she'd embarrassed them as a family and that they were going to find her a suitable suitor whether she liked it or not. It took only a month when her brother told her that his best friend is "willing" to marry her. By then Hala had given up all hopes in life and so did what was expected of her, she agreed to marry him.

When Hala past by to give her the invitation to her wedding, she was shocked to see Hala all skin and bones. Her beautiful shiny hair was barely there and she practically looked like a ghost.

It was a wedding she hated remembering but had to be there to support Hala. She still couldn't believe that things like this still happened in this day and age. Coming from a completely different background, marrying someone you didn't want was unthinkable. It just didn't make any sense.

She remembered being dropped off at the Marriott hotel and rushing to the elevator so she could spend sometime with Hala in her room. These were the hardest moments as she held her hand to comfort her while she waited for the moment for her to go downstairs and enter the ball room full of guests who had no idea what she was feeling.

She whispered to her "Are you ok?"

Hala's soon-to-be sister-in-laws were running around frantically getting ready. She remembered how they had looked so scary and unfriendly especially one particular one. She was the kind that one would refer to as being the nisra meaning a hawk; a woman with claws that showed no mercy.

Hala didn't reply. She just looked at her with pain in her eyes and nodded in denial as though to comfort her.

The wedding was miserable. Though she attempted to dance to cheer Hala up, inside she just couldn't be happy for her. It was all so wrong! Little did she know that the worse was yet to come.

The wedding past as any other wedding and she waved goodbye to Hala as she watched her being escorted to her husband's car that would take them to his family house.

Little did Hala know that when they were driving down Highway 30 that they were being followed by Mohammed, her Bedouin boyfriend.

No sooner had she arrived and been taken upstairs by the sister-in-law did the door bell rang. A few minutes later she heard her new husband call for his sister. As she sat upstairs, looking at the stranger in the mirror, she wondered how her new life was going to be. Suddenly, her sister-in-law walked in with a evil grin on her face and said "My brother says intee 6alek!"

Mohammed had delivered a letter to her husband telling him that he had been her boyfriend and with the letter was a picture of her and Mohammed that they'd taken years ago in a restaurant in Kuwait.

The next six months, she was not aloud to speak to Hala. Whenever she called, they told her that she was either asleep or out. It was only when she'd bumped into her mother at a ladies tea party that she begged her to be able to speak to her.

When she finally did, Hala told her the story and how her brothers had locked her into her room which she was never allowed to leave. Food would be delivered to her room and she had no access to any telephones. Her mother had been nice enough to smuggle her the phone today so that she could speak to her.

They were very hard days for Hala and her heart went out to her everytime she spoke to her after that. All she could do was comfort Hala and tell her that everything has a way of working out and that she had to be patient.

When months and months had past and she continuously begged her brothers to at least give her the chance to graduate from college, they finally agreed. Her brothers would take her to college and bring her back everyday but the few hours she would attend class were always a blessing for her.

As she waited for Hala to pick up the phone on this current day, she was comforted by the thought that Hala was now happily married to an older married man. A man she had known throughout her life and that had always begged her to marry him before her ordeal.

She had always disapproved of such a marriage but slowly she would find comfort in his wisdom and support for all that had happened to her. His kind heart would finally win her and she agreed to marry him. Knowing fair well that her brothers would not approve she needed to come up with a plan. She finally took the decision one idol day and jumped out of the gate of her house into his car where they ran off to get married abroad.

Yes, life had not been easy for Hala but here she was settled down and finally content with the life of a married women with two kids to love and cherish.

"Tell me your news habeebti," said Hala when she finally picked up the phone.

"He proposed!" she said shyly to her best friend who had been waiting patiently with her for that moment to come.

"Mabrook habeebti! Allah yetamim 3ala 7'air! Did you ask your parents?" she asked worriedly.

She closed her eyes. She knew she was going to have to soon enough.

"Hala, I want to but I'm too scared."

To be continued...