Journal of a Single Gal in Q8 - Episode Three

From last episode

""Sounds like you had a miserable time. Serves you right!" he said, trying to sound cruel but she could tell he was hurt. She hadn't denied his first accusation.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. This was not going to be easy to get out of."

If only things weren't so complicated between them. She knew that his intentions were good but things weren't that simple. She felt confused.

"I'm sorry but you can't blame a girl for looking out for her best interest" she told him reluctantly. Even though she herself wasn't even sure what was in her best interest!

"Stop confusing yourself. You know very well that we were made for each other and I can't imagine this life without you!" His voice suddenly became a whisper as he asked "Come on, let's get out of here. Have you thought about it?"

She knew exactly what he was talking about.

"I can't imagine myself getting married and moving to the States. I don't want to. My family is here. My friends are here. I can't just leave this place. It's my home." There were times that she'd complain about certain things but not to the extent of leaving!

"Why not?" he asked. "Kuwait's not the way it used to be. It's not secure. Things have changed. It's the haves and have nots. Don't you at least want to try..Land of Opportunity"? He was talking so fast now..

"First of all, no where in the world is secure, second Kuwait is booming right now. Business is good. I mean look at the oil prices for heaven's sake. Besides, I'm too scared of hurricanes, tornadoes and all those weather issues they have!" she replied.

This was typical of them. What would start as a personal issue almost always ended up being about other worldly issues. That was one of things she liked about him. Even though they disagreed about certain issues, the debate was always fun. He appreciated her internally rather than just externally.

Things weren't always like this. She remembered one of the poems she'd written on a very lonely night after another unpleasant experience. Her expectations of men had yet again hit rock bottom.

King of Beasts:

My gender is not one of opinion
Only beauty and a marked civilian

A man’s toy placed down the hall
To be at his own beck and call

Neither education nor wisdom they say
Only ones beauty and the role they play
The predator will seek his everlasting prey
And conquer he shall with no delay

So what differs us humans from animals
No longer so strange to think us cannibals

Searching as hounds for the smell of prey
No minds to use, nor intelligence or brains

So can you turn back the years, if you please
Take away my thoughts, my mind, my beliefs
And hand me over to a King of Beasts
To bare him his cubs and never have dreams...

Whenever she conversed with men and they would look at her as a mere object of desire, she'd remember that poem. Their arrogance would infuriate her. If that weren't enough, they loved to constantly challenge her and she was sick and tired of playing games.

She was looking for the man who wanted to grow old with her and would take care of her. It was "you and I against the whole world" rather than "you and I against each other". She reckoned it fell under maturity and a mature man was hard to find.

It was getting late and she needed to wake up early the next day. The thought of diving in the sea early in the morning was already cheering her up. She was planning to go early to avoid the crowds at the club.

Thanks to Palm's greed of making sure they had enough members, the club had turned into a circus lately, especially late afternoon on a Friday. She had to make sure she went early and left early to avoid the circus.

The next morning as she parked outside Starbuck's at the Palms, she suddenlyrealizedd that she'd been followed. She was so lost in thought throughout the whole drive that she hadn't evenrealizedd till now. She looked up in her rear view mirror and saw him get out of his car and head straight towards her....

To be continued....