True Kuwait Hollywood Story...

The only time I ever get to read Arabic magazines i.e. Al-Yaqaza (as spelt by them) is when I'm sitting at the hairdresser waiting for my henna/7ammam zait to dry....so there I was picking one up the other day. On the cover and to my surprise was the actress Zahra 3arafat (the Ramadan icon who was in various programs simultaneously) dressed up in a wedding dress next to her groom, the actor Khaled Ameen.

Ok...so it's no big deal..I was just surprised 'coz they made a cute couple in the picture but I just felt that Zahra was more of a wild girl underneath it all and she wouldn't go for a traditional guy...but what do I know...I only know these people in Ramadan and that's just once a year..so who cares!

Fast forward to the next week...I'm standing at our booth at the book fair and I see Khaled Ameen walking around and coming towards our booth!!! I was pretty amazed with the coincidence since I never read magazine and I only just saw...etc..etc...

As he approached our booth, I whispered to my friend "Only in Kuwait is a famous actor walking around in public and nobody gives a shit!"....just as soon as I'd finished the sentence...he was standing right next to me asking about some books...

Now me...being the forward person that I can be sometimes...and sometimes forget about the preconceived ideas people get about forward people...I bluntly said..."Enta mo tawak tizawajt?" (didn't you just get married?)...he laughed and said "la...mo 9a7ee7...hatha bass chithy 7ag el nass"...so I looked at him curiously and he continued "e7na emsaween chithy 3an qa9d...ne6ray....fee ba3ad juz2 thany we fee thalith!" i.e. this story was actually BS and was made up for the fans... a three series story for the hell of it I suppose...

By now the disgust is clearly showing on my face so he smiles to me as I turn to talk to my colleagues and ignore him...so he finally leaves....

Ok...it's two things...either what he was saying was actually true and therefore very stupid...how silly to play Hollywood..what are you..Tom Cruise and whatever the hell his chick's name is...next he'll be standing on Haleema Boland's couch shouting A7IBHAAAA!!....OR....this guy actually did get married but wanted me to believe that it was only a story...which in reality....in both cases SUCK....what's up with that dude???!!!

Do you really think they figured they could play a Tom Cruise on us?

This post seems silly...who bloody cares about this...but it pissed me off...or is it just me? Why am I getting pissed off about the darnest stupidest things...ok..I need a vacation...and if I end up at the Spa..I'll make sure I don't pick up another Yaqaza....(I mean what kind of spelling is that??!!..Yaqaza..sucks..write it Yaqatha or something...ooff...Whatever!

TTJASI

I'm having a bad week...actually partly a depression mixed with...de-appreciation (if there is such a word)...first I work my ass off to please my Boss who not only didn't appreciate the work I did...she is now setting up a meeting to critisize a wonderful event I pulled off! Next, I go to the bookfair and I'm standing there reading an English book when this American women wearing a burgu3 is standing next to her Mulla husband with his short dishdasha and long beard..SHE says to me..."they're taking people away from their religion" and begins to spit at me and the book!...WTF! God I need therapy to get over this one...

My personal life is non-existant 'coz I'm working all the time...I'm not being paid enough even though I work 24/7...my Boss calls me at 1:30 in the morning to ask me about something that could've been handled tomorrow morning....ARRGHGGHH....I'm about to have a nervous breakdown....I'd like to reshuffle my life but I don't know how...I can't do anything without a plan....are there any islands where normal people live 'coz I'm sick and tired of the dysfunctional people that I have to deal with around me.....and this stupid stuff..St. Johns Wort herb that is supposed to make you feel good...well...IT SUCKS...doesn't do jack shit...

Ok...I just took a deep breath...I need to go back to doing Yoga more regularly..I need lots of TLC to make work irrelevant...and God...please...please..let there be a grand opportunity that falls in my lap so I can tell this crazy women Boss of mine to TTJASI.....(you figure it out!)

Journal of A Single Gal in Q8 - Episode Eleven

From last episode...

"No, I'm ok, thank you," she told her Boss. "Just not feeling very well this morning," she felt so bad that she wanted to cry. Why would she want to leave for six months now? All those adventurous plans she had planned to do in London now seemed irrelevant. Suddenly she felt that London was going to be very lonely.

She looked at the proposal and realized that she only had two weeks to leave. She slowly began the process of convincing herself that this was good for her career and maybe it was better this way. If he really cared about her, he wouldn't forget her and in some way this would force the relationship not to move too fast. God knows she needed plenty of convincing! This was so depressing, she decided she'd go walking on the beach that evening to sort out her thoughts.

"Can I come and join you?" he asked when he called her, just as she was parking her car by Fridays.

She smiled to herself and told him that he was more than welcome if he wanted to.

When he finally joined her, they walked in silence for a while. She took a deep breath as they walked side by side. His smell was intoxicating. He smelt clean and fresh with a mixture of manhood. To distract herself she finally blurted out the news.

"You're leaving so soon?" he said with a hurt look on his face "but we only just met! You're not running away from me, are you?"

She just laughed and said "Don't be silly!"

When it was finally time to walk back to their cars, she noticed the swings and told him that she always had a love for swings. Walking towards the swings, she casually sat on one of them and without hesitation, she realized he was right behind her as he pushed her slowly!

It was night time and there was hardly anyone around but she felt slightly awkward. In the distance she could hear the music blasting away at Fridays and the honking of the cars passing by the Gulf Road.

For a moment, she didn't feel like she was in Kuwait, it almost felt unreal. If it wasn't for the moon light, it was almost pitch dark. All she could see of him was his white training suit that he was wearing. She wanted to see the expression on his face but she couldn't.

A few joggers past by and she wondered what they might be thinking? Strangely, they turned to look once and didn't look back. At first, she couldn't understand why they hadn't looked back and then suddenly it dawned on her. The scene was that of expatriate, not locals. It was funny that once they'd made that assumption that they wouldn't be Kuwaitis they weren't interested anymore. She smiled to herself. She liked getting away with this. She felt like she was traveling and there was no one around to judge her. It was a relief.

She could never quite understand why that invisible pressure always existed in her head. At the end of the day, she was a person who never did care what people thought. Yet, she hated to be in situation when she knew exactly how people were going to judge or misjudge her. She always felt that way when she was in Kuwait. As though this imaginative giant sat on her shoulders telling her what she should or shouldn't do. Actually, part of the reason she'd wanted to travel lately was due to that imaginative giant that had put extra pressure on her shoulders lately. She was beginning to feel like she couldn't breath.

The weird thing was the minute she was on an airplane, fastening her seatbelt, that feeling would slowly melt away. It would take only a few days when she'd wonder if that pressure even existed at all! The irony was that the minute she'd realize that, she'd suddenly feel like it was time to head back and the circle would continue.

When she'd finally be on her way back, she'd begin the observation period of the same old weirdness and irritation. The moment she was in the waiting lounge heading to Kuwait, it would all begin; the rude staring, the standing by the ramp endlessly waiting for the luggage, the loudness of people yelling at the Sri Lankans to grab their luggage as though it would disappear, the passport control guy throwing in some comment when he stamped her passport, the shoving and pushing at security control, which never seized to amaze her! They had just arrived, so what was the hurry, it's not like they were rushing to catch a flight!

Maybe traveling was not going to be too bad afterall, she thought to herself. She needed to breath lately, she needed civilization and getting away may be the right answer.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard him say "Even though I'm going to miss you, from what you tell me, this training course is really going to be good for your career and I admire your ambitions and independence. I think that's what I like most about you. Some girls just want to get married and stay at home."

She didn't comment. Although she liked the fact that he thought that, she wasn't sure if it was entirely true. Partly it was. She was ambitious but like it or not, her gender was born to feel that life would not be complete without the continuation of the circle of life. To start her own family and settle down. If she didn't want to admit it to herself, her body would remind her once a month. Her biological clock would force her into a depression and she would stand in the conference room and deliver a perfect presentation to Management and yet deep down feel worthless. If it wasn't the feeling of continuing the circle of life, it was at least to have someone be "a witness to your life", she'd heard that quote from a movie and could never forget it. It was the perfect description to what she was looking for.

As she took her seat on the British Airways flight heading to London, she felt a mixture of feelings. The two weeks had past too quickly and she couldn't believe that it was time for her to leave! She was too excited to sleep and her mind was working overtime. She forced the feelings of sadness out of her head and thought of being in the here and now. At least for now!

She was just getting comfortable when she found someone standing in the aisle waiting for her to move so he could take his seat. She looked up and she couldn't believe her eyes; it was the President of the Company that she worked for!

What was he doing on this flight and why was he seated right next to her? The simple fact that he was the President of the Company made her nervous but there was always something else that bothered her. The way he looked at her. It was the kind of look that made her suddenly feel like he'd stripped her of her clothes. He suffered from what she diagnosed him with the bona fide "Older Man Pervert Syndrome" OMPS for short. The kind that popped viagra in their mouths like it was banak!

As they did the usual greetings that went on and on i.e. How are you? How's your family? Then another ten more of "How are yous and How's the family" hardly ever listening to the answer, he finally settled his big body onto his first class seat.

No sooner had he done that, he gestured to the hostess to bring him a drink. The man couldn't wait to get his hands on the hard liquor.

He reached for his drink as his big arm nonchalantly brushed on her left breast. She could feel herself freeze then quickly pushed herself further back into her seat. Great! This was going to be a long and extremely uncomfortable flight, she thought in dismay.

To be continued....

Who Is Mohammed Makdasi?

After a long, hard day at work, I threw myself on the bed too exhausted to do anything. The only energy I had was to pick up my remote control and switch on the TV.

My favorite channel MBC 4 had "Days of Our Lives" and since I'm not a fan of soap operas, I switched to my next favorite, MBC 2. Sadly, the movie "Spice World" was on and I was not about to waste a precious hour to watch a rerun of the Spice Girls. Thank you very much!

In desperation, I decided to see what's up with Kuwait. reruns of Ramadan programs...not in this life!! Sports...nope..news..I don't think so....finally, I landed on Al-Ray TV, I let go of the remote.

Sitting on the couch, surrounded with five young presenters was a young man that I couldn't quite tell where he was from. His hair was longer than average, stylish with blonde streaks, his skin was flawless and his features were precise. In fact, his overall demeanor was too elegant. His voice soft and rhythmic, calm if you will. He seemed so perfected that one would secretly wonder if he was gay but then again artists always looked that way. As I concentrated to hear his accent, it was Kuwaiti.

I listened intently to figure this person out. He..impressively rarely switched to English which some Educated (seen the world people) artists tend to do.(not that I would complain..considering I tend to switch disappointingly myself!)

As they returned from the commercial break, the presented said.."We continue our 7ewar ma3a Al Doctor was al fannan Mohammed Al-Makdasi...I was stunned...a Doctor?

I later heard them say that he was also a painter and a singer...and they presented us with his video clip...funny enough...it turned out to be in English...and not bad..he also had a blonde chick with him who..if I'm not mistaken was named Charisma!!!..

The presenters asked and asked question after question...clearly impressed by this man...and I have to say...the whole thing raised my curiosity...anybody out there know...Who is the real Mohammed Makdasi and what is his story?

P.S. I am happy to report that my friend did find her dog, he was found inside the fences of the Bayan Palace...I guess he wanted to be Royalty for a change!!

Ace Ventura - Kuwaiti Style

Have you ever walked into a Kuwaiti Police Station asking if they've seen your dog?

In any other country, this would sound perfectly normal but when the three Bedouin policemen sitting at the reception having their tea looked up to see us (two women asking them if they'd seen this dog as they showed them a picture) the site of the men's faces was to die for! I just wish I had a camera at that moment to share their expression with you!

Here I was with one of my closest friends, an American who calls her dogs her babies at the police station trying to find her lost dog. He'd disappeared from her house for the past two days.

We had casually walked into the Bayan Police station wearing our jeans and T-shirt and with a voice to melt even the coldest of hearts I said "Low sama7t rifeejti al amreekiya thaya3t chalbha...tigdiroon tesa3doona?"

Granted I knew that my actions were ridiculous but being helpless in this situation, I felt it was necessary to leave no stones unturned. Besides, had they'd been saving a life rather than drinking tea, I would not have considered such extreme measures especially with a country that may not care too much for a man's bestfriend. Ok..I know not all...but on average! Not to mention the fact that I sometimes have been pleasantly surprised by the help of government employees so why not try.

The three stooges stared at us in disbelief and as always the sense of humor kicks in and the first young policemen says "Taboon terfa3oon kathiya 3ala al chalb?"

I giggled and turned to the older policemen who looked at us with distaste as he said bluntly "la walla ma nigdar nesa3ed".

Patiently, I said "e7na ma nabee shay, bass may 7'alif tegoloolna etha shoftooh?" as I handed the younger one the flyer that had the dog's picture. The Middle aged policemen who had been silent as he watched the whole scene suddenly said "Afa 3alaikum hathreen."

I could finally feel my tension release as we thanked them and walked out. At least one guy was kind enough to save me any more embarrassment! The main thing was that we tried. Whether they come through, only time will tell.

We then decided to scan the streets of Bayan with the three other dogs in the backseat as we stuck posters at jam3iyas. Of course being that we wanted to be professional, we'd ask for the manager of the jam3iya if we could have permission to hang the posters up. One Kuwaiti Manager looked at us and said with the typical sleazy smile..."El chalb hatha akeed 3azeez 3alaikum"..as he curled the end of his moustache....YUCK! Naturally I wanted to clobber him but we needed his help so I said the "ya366eek el 3afya" stuff and for once in my life I hoped this sleazy guy would actually call!

Next was to find the boys of the fareej, you know, boys of the hood kinda guys. Though I know some can be trouble but based on my experience, as soon as you ask the boys of the fareej for help, they come through in flying colors. Some said they'd never seen him, some cracked jokes that we're looking for a dog who's 15 years old "Oooollllla..min sijkum?!".they'd say..and some actually were on their bikes showing us were they'd seen the dog last.

Six hours later and still no dog as night time had sunk in as well as my friend's depression.

Though the day was full of adventures, sadly we have yet to find the dog so if you happen to have a heart, please help a lady find her baby...her blog is Rants and Raves please consider yourselves Ambassadors on a mission and make her feel that Kuwait has a heart...she's also mentioned a reward...but you bloggers don't look the type that care much for that...you'd simply do it 'coz you've got a heart...right?

Calling All Goddesses...Yes..You!

Have you been feeling bored lately? Frustrated? Stressed? Running around so much, you'd qualify for the marathon? Has life been one thing after another and you wish you could just take a break? Worse, has there been nothing going on in your life that your mere existence is questionable? Maybe you just need a change or something different to do? Maybe you just need some girl power to get you grounded...Whatever it is...Never fear....The Female Bloggers are here..!

To register for the next Female Bloggers get together, please email Delicately Realistic our Goddess Coordinator to let her know that you're interested. Deadline to register will be Sunday, November 20th.

For the ladies not wishing to go that extra mile and attend, not to worry, we totally understand!

For the ladies who will be attending, don't forget to have your brag ready to be shared! All new female bloggers will be given a full training on the art of bragging so you definitely won't be alone!

Looking forward to hear some good old fashioned brag stories!

Until then...May the Art of Pleasure be with you!...ok..ok...so I got carried away....what can I say! Sue me!

Journal of A Single Gal in Q8 - Episode Ten

From last episode...

"She stepped out of her car and walked slowly towards the entrance of the club. "Slowly, slowly, don't look rushed" she heard herself say.

From a distance, she could see someone standing at the reception and he looked like he was waiting for someone."

The closer she got to the reception desk the faster her heart beat and the louder it got. She kept telling her self to breath but even her thoughts could hardly be heard over the pounding of her heart.

He was leaning on the desk when she saw him slowly turn and finally they made eye contact. She nearly tripped when she saw his eyes. Her heart skipped a beat as she realized that they were baby blue or greenish-blue, maybe even light grey, she couldn't quite tell, all she knew was that they were beautiful.

"Hi" she heard herself say.

He smiled as he turned towards a small table in the corner of the reception area that had a coffee maker, a tea pot and some plastic cups. He gestured towards it as she followed him in a daze. She'd worn her flat boots and as she walked next to him, she realized that he was tall in comparison.

"Tea or Coffee?" he asked.

"Tea" she mumbled even though she wasn't even sure if that's what she wanted!

"Milk and Sugar?" he asked again.

"Yes" she replied. She hardly ever took her tea with milk or sugar. What was the matter with her? It was obvious that making a decision at that moment was too strenuous so she was blurting out whatever came to mind.

She suddenly realized that she'd been standing far too close to his broad shoulders. They may have chatted for over six months cyberly but in reality, he was practically a stranger. She stepped a feet away only to find herself moving closer to him again. It was as though a magnetic field was forcing her to stand closer to him. Finally, she crossed her arms in attempt to physically hold herself from moving any closer to him.

If this isn't chemistry then I don't know what is she thought to herself.

After her terrible experience with her first love, she had tried to feel that "chemistry" but it was never to be found. Her friends would constantly joke about it whenever they heard or saw her talking about a male friend. "Yeah, yeah, we know. No chemistry!" they'd say sarcastically. "So what's it like, this chemistry of yours?" her friend would ask curiously.

"You know when you're on a roller coaster and the deepest drop is just about to happen and then suddenly it's going so fast and you're laughing and crying all at the same time. You've lost all control but you're so happy it doesn't matter. Well, that's what it's kinda like." she'd reply as her friend would listen intently hoping to one day feel that feeling too.

What was it about this person that was making her feel like she was literally flying? Her entire physical being was being shaken to the core and she wondered if the outside world still existed.

Standing now, next to her blue eyed friend, she knew what she was feeling was out of the ordinary. In the distance she could hear him speak and she knew she was going to have to bring herself back to earth soon and hopefully utilize whatever percentage of brain that was left untarnished by this emotional invasion.

"I wasn't expecting you to look like this. I thought for sure that you'd be fat!" he was saying.

"Fat? Why?" she asked in surprise.

"Well, when we chatted, you always sounded cute, funny, smart and.." She interrupted him with a giggle and said "So you have to be a fat person to have those qualities?"

With an apologetic expression he replied "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it to sound like that. It's just that I was so worried. You're attractive and I was taken by surprise and it's making me nervous."

She was about to give him a lecture about being superficial and about being judgmental but then she quickly changed her mind. She did feel that people's appearances shouldn't matter but she realized she'd end up sounding like a typical double standard woman. Afterall, she'd been thinking exactly the same thing when she was driving to see him! She hoped he'd be cute too. At least he was being honest about his feelings, she concluded.

When she'd finally left and was on her way home, she was a bundle of emotions, part of her was on cloud nine with the excitement and part of her was feeling very depressed and worried. Her thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of her mobile.

"So?" asked her sister.

"Oh my God. He's so nice and sweet but I'm depressed!" she said.

"Why?!" asked her sister in alarm.

"I don't know. I'm scared. Do I really want to fall in love again? It's scary" she replied. She didn't want to get hurt again and the thought was petrifying her even though she knew that falling in love was exactly what she wanted!

"You can't go on living in fear like that. It's a risk one has to take. Would you rather not know if he is THE ONE? Besides, whatever's meant to be is meant to be so stop looking at the glass being half empty, look at it as half full. You were hoping that something like this would happen so enjoy the feeling" said her sister passionately.

She knew her sister made sense but she couldn't help but feel worried. It was in her character to always worry about the unknown and she was always amazed when she stood in front of a crossroad in her life. How by taking one step to one particular path she would end up somewhere and how if she took a completely other path, she'd end up somewhere else entirely! She supposed that was the test that life was all about but she always wished if she could know the end result. Life would've been so much simpler! Given it would take away the excitement of the unknown but still, it would've been safer. Here she was at a crossroad. She could take the path that would lead her to love with the possibility of getting hurt or finding THE ONE or the other path of safety but lonely. The latter was definitely sounding less attractive.

Before she met him, she felt her life had been so redundant. Now that things had changed, she was happy that this turn of events was making her life a lot more exciting. She became quite aware of the difference when she'd walked into work the next week and found that the irritating people that used to bug her at the office didn't seem to bother her at all. It was like she was suddenly immuned to them and she loved it.

In fact, a few months back, she'd been so bugged at work that she'd submitted a proposal to go on a long term training at the office's headquarters in London to "enhance my skills" as she put it. She hoped a change of scene and getting away from all the weird people at the office would help her get rid of the feeling of redundancy in her life.

Her thoughts were interrupted as her boss walked into her office with a big smile on his face.

"So what are you going to give me when I give you the good news?" he asked with a smirk on his face. Her boss was a chubby short old man who looked exactly like a Bedouin Santa Claus. He treated her like his daughter and always loved to tease her.

"Bu Youssef, today's news is for money, tomorrow it's for free" she teased back.

"Ok, I'll tell you but I expect sweets from you tomorrow. Upper Management have approved your proposal and you're off to London in two weeks!

Her mouth dropped and she was lost for words.

How ironic were her last thoughts.

To be continued...

3eed with AbdulMajeed

I can't believe Ramadan is finally over. It took me a while to actually absorb this fact and realize that life does actually go on once it is over! For a while I was having my doubts!

This Eid, I decided that I was going to celebrate it in some way that I can remember it i.e. to be able to remember it as the year I did this, whatever this may be! With that in mind, I decided to go with my family and friends and attend the Abdul Majeed Abdulla concert at the Sheraton.

With a3ab taking her kids to the park and seeing that side of Kuwait, Commercial Delight meeting up with relatives she hardly knew, I figured this other side of Kuwait was worth checking out.

Tickets were being sold for KD 100, KD 80, KD 60 and KD 40! I couldn't believe it but then again...desperate times called for desperate measures. If people were limited for choices, the business people took advantage. Typical!

Frankly, I do love Abdulmajeed but KD100 was ridiculous so we ended up going for the KD 60 which was still ridiculous but then again I wanted that something special so what the hell.

I started getting ready early. I knew such an event would require the extra make up to be part of the norm. I'm not an eyeshadow person but I enjoy being a chameleon and if the crowd was going to paint their faces tonight so was I! Besides, all those MAC and Bobby Brown products had to be used sometime!

Coming from a family that is always on time, we naturally arrived way too early! The ticket said 9:30 and we walked in at 10:00 and there was hardly anyone there. The buffet was open and people were asked to eat before the performance which ended up starting at 11:30 with Isma3eel Karam. We yawned and yawned, not that he wasn't any good but all we wanted was actually Abdulmajeed!

When he finally showed up, it was 12:30 pm and I did my ritual of complaining why do us Arabs always believe that the later the show the better. If you're in Egypt, the best part of the show would most likely start at 2:00 am, if you're in Lebanon, it's the same thing. What is it about this ridiculous habit, I just don't understand! My friend contributed that it was a great way to brag to your friends who didn't get to go that "we didn't get home till dawn!" hence it meant that we had a much better time than they did..sick excuse but I think she had something there!

Although I was there to watch Abdulmajeed and he was great as usual, the best part was actually checking out the crowd. This side of Kuwait was an absolute blast to watch. Everything glittered! Glittery vests, glittery belts, glittery skirts, glittery make up, glittery jewerly. Having put on that extra layer of make up, I thought I'd really out done myself but I lost terribly compared to the amount of make up that was on display on the ladies faces. All in all it was a lovely fashion show that showed me what was in and what was out!

In the end, we had a wonderful time. The only real problem was that we had to share four chairs with two other couples who looked like they'd just had a fight in the car and were totally miserable. I was very much tempted to ask if someone had beaten them up before they arrived. It felt odd to be clapping for Abdulmajeed while they sat right next to us looking like statues.

Both girls were very pretty but had such a miserable look on their faces, I actually felt it ruined their beauty. The two guys with them spent most of the time giving us girls a look that said "hey, check me out". So much so that I was very much tempted to tell the girls "could you tell the guy with you to stop staring" but then I figured she looked miserable enough so there was no need.

In closure, I was happy that I'd done something different this year and got to check out what that side of Kuwait was doing. I stored it in my files of experience that I hope to utilize the next time round i.e make sure no one gets to share our table, dress up like a Christmas tree, add an extra ton of eyeshadow and sit like a statue! On second thought, I think I'll stick to attending Arabic concerts in Lebanon, bet you a million you won't see one person sitting on their chair let alone being a statue!